Friday, October 30, 2009

Green Tea Before Bed

One more cup of green tea before bed. The warm sensation of drinking green tea makes me deal with the unbearable silence of my house, makes me appreciate life, makes me write a little more, and makes me read one more Blake poems. As I pour tea into my Chinese teacup I empty all the emotional roller coasters and recognize the value of life. Lately, all I need before the bed is to be grateful for the baby creature in my uterus, be pleased for my little baby girl, named Island, Ada and be receptive for the endless,and the biggest love he gives me.
Tonight, within the mood of green peace, I got to aware of how much I complain every single day in regards of my everyday routines.  Anger, anger, anger, sorrow face, disgust, blame, hate, crashed mind, questioning, questioning my deep sorrow face in the mirror. Then, I get into “What is my fucking problem? “ types of cheap run away sentences whereas trying to get back to driving forces behind my existence? When my breath can only be warm with the power of love and passion where is my desperation comes from.
My life is full of beauty; O.K sometimes it is scary, but always wonderful.
As I am done with my peace bringig tea,  I know now ever than before I should appreciate my spare time and really learn self motivation to become more productive in every way of life (even gardening…) I got the endless free time for the first time in my entire life and that has caused me produce 50 single-named poems in such a short period, couple short stories, and an unfinished painting. Lots of walk in the wood, watch the rain in my entrance balcony, cook super delicious walnut cakes and red snapper in oven. How could I ever manage to do all these without my harmless routines? I am learning to look inside of myself and get back loving things around me. It’s a Gaelic saying "Peace Walks on Love's Road."
The all came out with a cup of green tea before bed....
What an unusual peaceful night....

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