Tuesday, October 27, 2009

October Wind- Ekim Ruzgari

Who is going to celebrate the day?
Monkeys?           
Bukalemuns?
Hippopotamus?

With an astonishing banquet
Within Muteness
Engaging in a duel
In the vessel of Ragusa?
In the tent of a gypsy circus?
In the Rio carnival?

Amuse me;
Dancing queens
Juggling clowns
Deer hunters
Naked Cellist

I rolled down to this inauguration with   
The continents I have been shifting
The countries I have been departing  
The loves I have been passing

I collected all kinds of disappointments in a cracked glass bottle
I didn’t cry
I had regrets, which I took pleasure of them afterwards
I had a side that comprehend the life so well
That is why my pulse has beaten180 
Like a newborn innocent
I only cried as I lost my pinkish-blue marble stones
Which I won on streets and lost the same way 
My biggest sin is still virgin I my diary
Except, the poppy massacre in the Seramik train station at my eighth birthday
           
I grew thousands of sensations in thirty October
Cultivated a lot of memories
Wrote a lot of letters
Loved so much
Hated as much
To forget and to forgive

I bared all my black and white photos somewhere in Mediterranean
Cut out magazine clippings
Stolen postcards 
Reprinted poems
Never sent-out letters in yellow pages
Collected pebbles
And a small pinch of your hair before you die in bright red
Buried all in a grey metal box
Within the bottom of a begonville

The danger started when I forgot I was from the city
I become an immigrant who is vomited on ashore by the sea

Emotions to forget
Dusty memories
The last regrets to say farewell in peace
They all become rooted inside of me one by one
Neither I abandoned them
Nor they did
I cried my tears inside the wine bottles
Only the loud laughs stacked in my remembrance from the old days
Anyway, who would want to break the childhood’s lead pencil

 I am building paper sail boats from my old diaries
 To sail up to new falls
 Following a ghost butterfly
 Its wing’s my compass
 Collecting ever written down hopes 
 To let my voracious desire free to fly like lepidopterans
 I am not writing this poem to scatter around,
 Writing just to gather all together

Standing insatiately in the middle of an uncompleted road to take a new start
I am growing into a lily woman
With full of pain in beauty, like the way lilies grow
I am still the love’s blond beauty in my hazel eyes
My body is scar less
Although, my mind is a fall hurricane
Which gets cold untimely in unsuitable locations

I am influential and myself
I can be a high-tide again and   
Raise the water level of the sea
I can dig the dip inside of sea with my red polished nails
And I can make love with my whole body in Simi Island once more
I changed thousands of masks
I become thousands of characters
I am the sleeping beauty madam Dormose, now
Elegant and seductive
Till I wake my 30th fall 
Till I wake up in October’s leaves

A small pine tree on sparsely vegetated mountains
Giving me the surprise of starting October’s inauguration
We all drink a glass of holly wine
Ruin the amulet
Start the celebration
Start October

October 2009
Pittsburgh Raleigh house..


EKIM Ruzgari

Kim kutlar bu gunu
Maymunlar
Bukalemun
Su aygiri

Sik bir davet mi
Sessizligin icinde derin uyku
Duello mu yapsam yoksa
Ragusanin dingisinde
Cingene sirkinde
Yahut, Rio carnavali

Beni eglendirin,
Dans kraliceleri
Juggling palyacolar
Geyik avcilari
Ciplak cellocu

Yana done geldim bu solene
Ulkeler degistirdim
Kitalar’dan kitalara goc ettim
Asklar’ da raks ettim
Hayal kirikliklari biriktirdim catlak cam siselerinde
Aglamadim
Pismanliklarim oldu,
Sonradan sevindigim
Hayati anlar bir yanim vardi 
Nabzimin 180 atmasi ondandi
Yeni dogmus bir masumun ki gibi
Sokaklarda kazanip gene sokaklarda kaybettigim
Pembe –mavi misket taslarima agladim, bir
En buyuk  gunahim hala bakir defterimde
Saymazsam eger seramik istasyonunda ki gelincik katliamini,
henuz sekiz’imde

Bin ayri duygu yetistirdim otuz ayri Ekimde
Ne cok ani buyuttum bellegimde
Ne cok mektup yazdim
Ne cok sevdim  
Ne cok nefret ettim
Unutmak ve bagislamak icin


Akdenizde gommustum siyah beyaz fotograflari,
Kesilmis magazin  kupurlerini
Calinmis kartpostallari
Cogalttigim siirleri
Hic yollanmamis sararmis mektuplari
Cakil taslarini
Ve kirmizi ya boyattmadan onceki son bir tutam sacini
Giri metal bir kutunun icinde
Bir begonvil’in dibine

Sehirden biri oldugumu unutmakla basladi tehlike
Denizin kiyiya coktan kustugu bir gurbetci oldum
Unutulcak duygular
Tozlanmis anilar 
Huzurla vedalasilcak son pismanliklar
Teker teker kok salmaya basladilar icimde
Ne ben vaz gecebildim
Ne onlar gecebildiler
Sarap siselerininin icine agladim gozyaslarimi
Aklimda kahkahasi kaldi eski gunlerin
Zaten, kim kirmak ister cocuklugunun kursun kalemini

Eski gunluklerden kagit gemiler yapiyorum
Yeni sonbaharlara yelken acmak icin
Hayalet bir kelebegi izliyorum
Kanatlari pusulam
Hic yazilmamis umutlar biriktriyorum
Ucmak icin lepidopteranlar misali
Dagitmak icin degil toparlamak icin yaziyorum bu siiri

Yolun bitmedik bir yerinde duruyorum, baslamak icin
Cunki, Zambaklar gibi buyuyorum aci cekerek cicek guzelligimin icinde
Hala askin sarisin siiriyim ela gozlerimde
Vucudum ne kadar saydam ise 
Aklim o kadar sonbahar firtinasi
Zamansiz usuyen zamansiz mekanlarda

Guclu ve kendimim
Yeniden bir med-cezir olup yukseltebilirim sularini denizin
Ve okyanuslarin dibini delebilirim tirnaklarimla
Yeniden doguma hazir kadinligimla
Bir kere daha Simi adasida sevisebilirim
Binlerce maske degistirdim 
Biriktirdigim kahramanlar oldum bir bir
Simdi madam Dormose ‘um uyuyan
Zarif ve cekici
Taki  uyanana dek sonbarina otuzumun
Uyanana tek Ekim yapraklari icinde    

Bozkir daglarda bir cam fidesi
Solenin basladigini mujdeliyor
Dualarla okunmus bir kadeh sarap iciliyor
Muska acilsin
Kehanetler bozulsun
Baslasin solen…
Baslasin Ekim….